Updated: Nov 6, 2020
You will never see me coming. No one will warn you and you won’t believe them if they do. My attractiveness and charm will be unparalleled to anything you have ever experienced before. I will win you over with grand gestures. I’ll wine you and dine you. I will sweep you off your feet.
Then I will destroy your life.
I know you always look for the best in people. I think this is foolish and naïve. I will exploit your generosity. I know that giving makes you feel good about yourself. I find this amusing. I will take as much as I can and give back the bare minimum to keep you under my spell. Then I will call you selfish. I will make you believe that you are a constant disappointment.
Nothing you do will ever please me. I will never let you win. I will always one-up you. I will not applaud your victories. I will crush your dreams and insult your ambitions.
I don’t want you to do better than me.
I do not care about your feelings. I see your emotions as a tool I can use to control you. I am an empty shell inside. I will poke and prod you for weaknesses with put-downs, criticisms, and insults. When you react and become unglued, I will tell you that you are crazy. You are the toxic one.
I play mind games. I will never communicate with you in a direct and honest way. Everything is a game or a manipulation. I am incredibly good at hiding and phenomenally patient. I will tease and gaslight you until you react. Then I will point out how emotionally unstable you are and mock you for being upset.
This is intentional. I work on the principle that everything is your fault. The way I treat you isn’t the problem. Your reaction to the way that I treat you is the problem.
I see nothing wrong with my behavior. I will never take responsibility for my actions and I will never change. If I am upset with you, I will never tell you how I feel. If you don’t do what I want, I will respond by punishing you. I will retaliate. I will say or do something intentionally to hurt you.
I will make you believe that everything is your fault.
I look like you and speak like you but the reality is that I don’t feel like you. I am empty inside. My primary emotions are rage, frustration, self-pity, and fear. You cannot help me. You cannot save me. Every intimate detail you share with me will be used against you.
As long as you give me exactly what I want exactly when I want it, everything should be fine.